overwhelm

The Great Overwhelm...

Pia Jane Bijkerk self portrait

I’m calling this time The Overwhelm. But since everything is Great these days, it’s The Great Overwhelm. Are you feeling it? I’ve written a little about it on my Patreon page, The Everyday Alchemists, here is an except from the latest post…

Sunday
July 10, 2022

I feel like this period of time should be called The Great Overwhelm…

One of the collective feelings I picked up on the most while being back in Sydney was overwhelm.  I felt it before the pandemic, particularly in the area we were living in, in the Inner West, and then after the first lock down was lifted, the overwhelm was heightened. I still feel it in myself too but when I met with others while in Sydney who described their situations, I could feel the intensity of it. I don’t feel that intensity in me but I think it’s only because I have been able to keep it in check  - as soon as things get overwhelming – like this year during the time of the floods, and when Romain was so sick and needed emergency surgery, I have learnt - and am able to  - drop everything that creates overwhelm during these times. For everyone it’s different. In our case, not having the capacity to outsource support with Laly means I don’t have family to call on or a babysitter when times get tough, but I can drop other things to ensure I have the energy to attend to her and our needs. Socialising in large groups for example, is something that adds to overwhelm for me at the moment, so I often say no, and I’ve been able (and lucky enough) to not take on too much work since 2020, I only do what I can manage.  I learnt all this from the burn out I had after self-publishing Little Treasures: Made by Hand.

Part of my personal overwhelm – or what I call being ‘at capacity’ – is that it seems like I have less and less time to do things other than the everyday necessities – washing  the clothes, feeding the family, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, feeding and caring for the bunny, communicating and organising tradespeople and the landlord about house repairs from the storm damage, sorting, being emotionally present, and going for walks for exercise. And that’s just a sampling of what’s needed to be done in my every day.  Self-help gurus and life coaches will tell us that in this scenario, I’m not prioritising my time ‘properly’, that I need to set myself/simplify my goal (ie more exercise, more writing, more work time, etc) and focus on this, put it at the top of the list and let the other chips fall as they may. I’ve tried this, many times, in many eras of my life, and I can say with conviction that it’s bullshit. It’s one of those capitalist/colonialist/patriarchal idealisms that doesn’t work at all in practice, unless you’re a white privileged man. I know there are plenty of female life coaches and self help gurus around at the moment who sell this idea too, but they’re only keeping up the same illusion. They do not reveal the amount of support they have around them in order to achieve their work goals. And it is simply not sustainable (it doesn’t last).

Since the pandemic first began, I have felt at capacity. And it’s not easing. I know I’m not alone. Even being able to write and publish a post here on Patreon feels epic for me these days – I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve started posts over the past 2 months and have not been able to finish them, even though I’ve made time to come back to them day after day. Today, I am determined. I’ve been here writing this for 3 hours now, and I’m managing this chunk of time because everyone is exhausted from our trip and happy to do their own things in quiet peace. Although it’s 12:30pm, I’ll need to make lunch for everyone soon, so my time is running out.

Why is it like this? Are you feeling this too or are you feeling like you have time on your hands? I’d really love to know. Is everyone overworked – whether it’s an outside job or the job of managing a household, or both  - is this a collective experience or is it because I’m a mum to a ten year old, or is it health related? I’d love to learn about your life right now.

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To read more, and about an idea I’m running by everyone in the collective that might help with the overwhelm, you can join the collective, The Everyday Alchemists.

Pia xx

PS Also, I made a new playlist the other day - I do love this new way of creating mixed tapes for like-hearted souls around the world! This one will be added to along the way, I hope you enjoy it. X