The other day I was scrolling through the archives on my old Wordpress blog (which I miss! and am thinking of switching back because I'm having a number of issues with squarespace, let me know your thoughts about it) looking for images I couldn’t locate in files on my computer. I found them, and so much more.
While scrolling through, I came across a post I wrote back in 2014 called ‘being enough’. And even though so much has changed, I realised I am still resonating strongly with what I wrote, three years later. I know there are many layers of release, and that even though I’ve become aware of something, it doesn’t mean it completely dissolves. In this case, I am no longer questioning my ability or inability to do the laundry (progress!), but I have understood in recent days that this feeling of not being enough runs deep. That it is in fact at the very core of my being. And on further reflection, I’ve become aware that it runs even deeper… that what I am feeling and tuning in to is universal: It is at the core of being.
In my observations - and social media is wonderful for this, if nothing else! - it’s become clear that every move we make, every breath we take (thank you, Sting) and everything we choose to post online is almost always in direct response to our belief that we are not enough as we are and where we are in our lives.
It’s epic. And I’d go further to say it’s an epidemic. And then even further to wonder, is it in fact the epicenter of dis-ease?
And with this I can see a direct connection between our obsession with money and this core belief. That everything in our lives has become part of this emotionally charged economic system – from the moment we are birthed, to the moment we die. Think about that for a moment. It’s insanity. And yet it’s our reality. And I wonder, which came first – did the economic system develop, which then created this core belief, or was the core belief there to start with which created the economic system to feed it? The idea of not having a monetary system has been explored and pondered in various ways. But for a moment, with the understanding of this belief being at the center of it all, imagine our lives without feeling not good enough fuelling this system, what would life be like day to day? I suppose it’s why I am so drawn to the strengthening of intuition, because I sense the urgency for it. Would the feeling of not being enough remain as strong if we lived more intuitively? Would the economic system remain the same if we made more intuitive choices? Perhaps it would be transformed into something new.
Not feeling good enough feeds fear. Fear feeds our lifestyle choices. Our lifestyle choices feed banks and corporations. Banks and corporations feed war. War feeds fear. And so tells the story of our lives...
I’d love to hear your thoughts. And for the original ‘being enough' post, complete with lovely photographs of our life with chickens some years ago, please click here.